It's not all about work!
‘Midlife crisis? Don't worry, you'll turn the corner at 47’
Someone’s done a study on happiness and well-being and apparently, there's a U-turn at 47 – things do get better but after they've got worse. (According to an article in the Times).
Midlife Crisis
I'm not a fan of the term ‘midlife crisis’, are you?
When I was young I thought it meant that men bought a Harley and menopausal women were prescribed Valium.
But whilst we have our personal experiences there are some shared themes and concerns about ageing, mortality, our purpose and even our sex appeal at midlife.
I'm no expert on the latter but I do know a thing or two about job searching and middle age.
It’s the time in life when you may start thinking seriously about doing things differently and contemplating your life and lifestyle.
But if job hunting isn’t going your way it can trigger anxiety and low self-esteem.
for example:
When you've been working hard, head down for 20 years, never had to look for a job before and now you're looking you've discovered that the rules have changed. Having to sell yourself to recruiters can be triggering.
At times you can feel like you're missing out on opportunities and being overlooked for younger, less experienced people.
You're worried that you're 'past your sell-by-date (your words not mine).
Perhaps you've started applying for jobs that you could have done 10 years ago.
It's not all about work
Our generation was taught to compartmentalise work and home life. That makes it easy to forget that everything is connected. Often people will go out looking for a new job as a quick fix, without looking at the whole picture.
But what if it's personal?
What if you’re worried about your ageing or sick parents, a child struggling, menopause, or you’re feeling dissatisfied or looking for a deeper meaning in life too? I know that for some of us that can raise some big questions and concerns.
My Midlife Crisis
I reckon I had my midlife crisis in my late 40s triggered by personal circumstances, stress, 13-hour workdays and the deep yearning to do things differently.
The lowest of the low days went something like this…
It was between Christmas and New Year, my little 93-year-old Nan had just moved out of her own home and into care. At the same time, my Mum's health was in steep decline. After visiting my grandmother and before going back to Mum's, I took a walk to the seafront to clear my head. The day was as miserable as I felt, grey sky and driving rain. I'd missed a work call which I didn't want to make at Mum's so I tucked myself away behind a derelict building, shielding myself from the elements. On the call I had to pretend I was my usual self but I wasn't. I felt sad, helpless and alone.
That moment sealed the deal. I was getting out. I signed up with a Coach and I left my job in Spring.
It took time for me to accept my decision - I saw it as a weakness. But what if it was a sign of strength?
Five years on I can look back without the pain I felt then.
It's true, things do get better (after they've got worse) and now I'm better equipped to help others. Not to share stories, I've not shared this before, but my clients know and feel that they are understood. That means a lot, I know that for sure.
How to manage a personal midlife crisis
Accept that this is an important stage of adult life. An initiation or rite of passage!
Give yourself a break!
Allow yourself time to wallow on ‘Planet Me’ (I told my husband to leave the house so I didn’t have to talk to him or anyone else)
Don’t try to force your way through this. You need an acceptance plan before an action plan.
Get yourself out in nature - Hampstead Heath has soaked up my troubles many times over. Nature can handle it!
Find your true friends
Exercise, yoga, swim (you know it makes sense)
Shout, scream, cry (ideally not in public)
Get a coach, therapist, healer
Remember that this too shall pass
Want to talk about how you’re feeling about your personal midlife crisis? You can contact me here.
Let’s talk about mental health
ABOUT ME
I’m Tracy, Career Consultant, former Executive Headhunter and I help senior executives and leaders to land great jobs and be successful at work through 1:1 coaching.
I work with clients around the world from my London-based Zoom office.
If you’re ready for straight-talk and career guidance get in touch – let's start the conversation.
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